


Family

by Zarla



Category: Star Control
Genre: Divorce, Drama, Forced Marriage, Gen, Subtext, Unrequited Love, Xeno, everyone behaving badly towards each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-27
Updated: 2009-06-27
Packaged: 2017-10-06 04:33:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zarla/pseuds/Zarla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the War, ZEX's family arranges a marriage to a respectable lady to try and hide his xenophilia. As we all know, this, unfortunately for everyone involved, does not work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure if I should go with marriage/husband/wife or some other terms since alien species and all, but in the end I decided to lean more towards the Victorian side of things with the VUX rather than the alien, so. I like KEZ. I have some other stuff with her and ZEX and DAX being all dysfunctional around here, I should finish it. It's a weird ~~threesome~~dynamic.  
> It amuses me that all three of them are vain/arrogant in their own ways and don't know it. Ah, VUX.

The wedding concluded without incident, and DAX was thankful for it. It was near the end of the day and despite the great importance of the occasion, he was bored and restless. He suspected that Admiral ZEX felt the same, regardless of his position as groom.

He knew very little of the bride, KEZ, apart from that she was from a wealthy, well-bred family with a great deal of power and influence, and that this marriage was nothing more than one of convenience. KEZ had a good reputation, was well-liked by her peers and known for her outstanding character, and it was clear that she was matched to ZEX in an effort to distract others from the rumors circulating that he had "odd habits" and "peculiar preferences" of which polite people did not speak openly.

Both families agreed to the union, arranging the specifics while ZEX was distracted with matters of war. DAX knew a marriage wouldn't make any difference. ZEX wasn't easily quieted, and this would only be a minor detour on the path to the disastrous, career-ending decision of some sort that DAX was sure ZEX would inevitably make.

KEZ seemed like a nice woman. She greeted him warmly when he arrived, introduced herself with a formality that DAX had little experience with given his upbringing, and she was charming and eloquent in a way that would have been intimidating to most. DAX was _some_what used to it, being so close to ZEX after all, and touches of it remained in the Admiral's speech and behavior at times. The Admiral and his betrothed worked (or in ZEX's case, _had _worked) in social circles quite far removed from his own, not that it was something that he often thought about. It didn't matter so much for those in the military, unfair familial promotions aside. Part of its appeal for some, he supposed.

She was somewhat beautiful, educated and witty as someone of her stature should be, and DAX listened to her speak and contributed when prompted, and generally found no fault with her. She was even familiar with individual skirmishes during the War, and told him how she admired some of the tactics in the battles his Admiral had waged and won.

It was a shame, really. She didn't deserve this.

The ceremony had dragged on and on, and DAX found it difficult to listen and wondered if he was the only one disinterested in the entire affair. A glance at ZEX quickly reassured him this was not the case. His Admiral was wearing as much finery as one VUX could wear, given that this was the most important day of many of their lives, and it looked unnatural on him since he wasn't usually so taken with jewelry. Amidst all the sparkling gems and brooches pinned across the front of his robes were the medals that DAX was more accustomed to seeing, nearly buried under countless strips of gauzy fabric, necklaces, gold chains, and other shining baubles. Despite how his head jewelry required him to stay still, DAX could see his Admiral fidgeting every now and then, slight adjustments that spoke worlds of how uncomfortable he was. DAX had known him too long, perhaps.

Even KEZ, no doubt more used to this sort of thing than they, seemed a bit restless near the end of the ceremony. It seemed to go on forever, and it was an awfully warm day. At least DAX wasn't as weighed down as the bride and groom, although he was wearing far more jewelry than he ever thought was necessary (not that it made much of a difference as to his appearance either way, given that he was decidedly average).

Finally it ended, and ZEX and KEZ turned to face one another, touching arms lightly as dictated by proper protocol (more intimate touching in public was, of course, improper at this level of society), and the procession broke up for refreshments and general mingling. DAX was thankful for the freedom to move again. It felt unnatural to stand still for hours at a time... he had no idea why so many religious and bureaucratic rituals required it.

He got himself a drink, watched the others talking and chatting with one another, and he felt distinctly out of place. KEZ was entertaining several guests, those around her occasionally letting out polite bursts of laughter, and the others had broken up into smaller, structured groups. DAX didn't have a group, but he certainly didn't expect one at this stratum of high society. Normally he wouldn't even be here.

Although that did get him thinking... he did not see ZEX anywhere. That meant he had to find him before he committed yet another social faux pas.

DAX excused himself, although he didn't think anyone was paying attention to him, and got to looking. The curved halls were comfortingly quiet and mostly empty, to his relief. DAX had never been particularly social.

He called out his name softly a few times, but mostly stayed quiet and searched. He finally found him in a small room strewn with clothing, probably the one that had been assigned to him so he could change when he got here. ZEX was sitting in front of the mirror, tugging at one of the gold webs tangled in his head tentacles.

"Sir." DAX stood in the doorway. ZEX blinked and looked at him in the mirror.

"Ah DAX, could you- help me out of these, would you?" He sounded drained and frustrated, and DAX dutifully walked over to him, brushing his arms away from his head so he could work. He began untangling some of the gold threads, trying his best not to put too much pressure on the feelers in the process.

"Congratulations, sir," DAX said quietly.

"Yes, congratulations, I suppose," ZEX sighed, his voice rough and tired. DAX managed to remove one of the more restrictive pieces, and he set it to one side. ZEX's head tentacles immediately fell flat in relief.

"Aren't you supposed to be mingling, sir?"

"I can mingle without all_ this_ on me." ZEX waved an arm at himself. "I've never felt so heavy and tired in all my life. I can't understand how anyone can wear things like this."

"You're certainly not the type, sir."

ZEX sighed again, which wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "No, I suppose not."

Silence as DAX quietly worked on removing each small piece of jewelry, and ZEX closed his eye and seemed to be daydreaming, or something of the sort.

"Sir?"

"Mmm?"

DAX unfastened a gold chain. "You will treat her kindly, correct?"

ZEX waved an arm somewhat carelessly, still sounding tired. "Of course, why wouldn't I? She's done nothing wrong... a lovely girl, really."

"That's what I thought, sir."

"But..."

DAX tugged on one head feeler, a warning, and ZEX didn't finish his thought, although they both knew what he was going to say. _But she's not human._

It wasn't fair to her, really.

"Will you tell her, sir?"

"No... I don't think she'd take it very well." ZEX laughed a bit humorlessly. "Although I suppose someday she may find out on her own."

"Then what are you going to do, sir?" DAX pulled one of the gold collars away from ZEX's neck. "You are married now, after all. You have a responsibility to your wife."

"I suppose I do." ZEX sighed again. "I'll have to figure something out."

As DAX had suspected, there was very little that'd stop ZEX from pursuing his real interests, and someone was going to get hurt.

It probably wasn't going to be ZEX.

"I don't see why you agreed to this, sir. It will only make things worse when the High Council finally gets rid of you."

"And you say I'm cynical! I didn't have a choice, DAX... it was arranged behind my back before I could do much about it, and if I refused then it would have only reflected poorly on her. Imagine, someone as controversial and famous as I refusing someone like her... her reputation would suffer." ZEX sighed. "I don't even know her... it'd be a cruel thing to do to a girl who seems perfectly nice, and pressured by her family into consorting with me, of all people."

"This was a mistake on both family's parts." DAX started pulling away the small trinkets pinned to the Admiral's robes. "They want to hide you before you embarrass them."

"I think it may be too late for that," ZEX said, a bit distracted. "I have no intentions of changing my ways... I had no intention of even participating in society again, and yet here I am..."

"I don't think you'll be here long, sir."

"True enough." ZEX paused, staring off into the distance, his voice soft. "If they do exile or kill me... maybe she can remarry someone more suited to her."

He unbuckled the tail ring, and ZEX flexed with a relieved sigh. DAX stood and looked at his Admiral in the mirror, now far more familiar without being covered in jewelry and finery.

"Sir, what will you do about _children_?"

ZEX blinked at him, head tentacles rising for a minute and he apparently hadn't given this much thought. They lowered soon enough, twisting together a bit uncertainly. "I'm... not entirely sure."

DAX's head tentacles raised a bit. "Sir, she'll have certain expectations, tonight at _least_. Haven't you thought about this at all?"

ZEX looked a bit awkward, tongue darting out and touching one of the feelers twining near his trunk. "I've given it some thought, I suppose... I understand the mechanics of it, but it's still difficult to actually imagine it happening, precisely... it's not entirely something I ever expected to do..."

DAX sighed. "This is going to be a disaster, sir."

"Most likely." ZEX almost sounded regretful. "I wish there was some way I could make it clear that I'm not..." A warning tug again, and ZEX rephrased. "I wish it wasn't so difficult to be _different_."

"Yes, sir." And he used the word _different_ as broadly as one could.

"There you are!" DAX turned and saw KEZ near the doorway, flicking her tongue. He still had an arm on ZEX's shoulder... he could feel him tense when he heard her voice. "I was wondering where you'd run off to. DAX, were you minding him?"

"Yes, ma'am." He hoped that was polite enough.

"Thank you very much. ZEX, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." ZEX's head tentacles were twisting against one another. "I just wanted some time to myself."

"Certainly understandable. DAX, would you come help me with this?" She gestured to one of the dangling jewels on one of her head feelers, which had gotten caught in the gold chain connecting one band to the other. "Since I see you've been helping ZEX with his... they can be a bother at times."

DAX walked over to her and silently did as she asked, keeping his eye on his Admiral who was fidgeting in front of the mirror. Probably thinking about the night ahead, and he didn't envy the awkward situation that awaited him.

"You should really come join the rest of us, ZEX. Everyone's asking after you." She held out an arm towards him, and it took a few moments before ZEX stood and took it, twisting around her touch with a fumbling, unfamiliar awkwardness. "Just a little longer, then this whole boring mess will be over."

"Here." DAX handed her the dangling jewel, and she flicked her tongue.

"I didn't mean to remove it! But it feels better this way anyway, thank you, DAX." She leaned towards ZEX a little, who looked desperately to DAX for guidance as to what to do. DAX tried to signal that he should return the gesture, and while ZEX did try, it was painfully awkward for something so simple. KEZ gave him something of an odd look, but didn't comment.

Evidence enough that ZEX's heart would never lie within his own species. Strangely enough, the thought was somewhat painful for some reason, although DAX wasn't quite sure why.

"Will we see you later, DAX?"

"I expect so, ma'am," he said.

"DAX and I are never apart for too long, it would seem." There, ZEX had a light tone in his voice again, a momentary return to his normal good humor. "I think the two of you may get along."

DAX was struck with the unpleasant thought that perhaps in the future, he would have to console a grief-stricken KEZ and try to explain that it wasn't her fault that her husband did not love her and never would, that she'd done nothing wrong and ZEX was just not like other VUX, and he forced it away.

"If either of you need me, let me know."

"I certainly will, DAX." She waved some head tendrils at him before looking back to ZEX, who was staring into the distance. "I think it's about time we returned to our guests, don't you think?"

"Ah, yes, I suppose so..." ZEX didn't sound entirely enthused with the idea, and DAX watched the two of them walk off together.

DAX stood there for a moment, then sat beside the mirror, toying with one of the gold bands he'd taken from the Admiral's head.

This would not end well.

\---

 

"This isn't a retirement, is it?"

ZEX was staring out the window at the city beneath him, wondering whatever could have possessed him to risk his life for people so shallow and selfish. He could hear KEZ behind him, but he didn't turn around. She sounded angry with him... not unusual, necessarily, but unlike her. He did seem to bring out the worst in her.

"No, it's not," ZEX said, a bit harshly, and he glared back at the window, at everyone who felt content to turn their backs on him as soon as he was no longer useful, as soon as he refused to play by their rules. All so caught up in senseless, pointless social games, revolving around the same and the same and the _same_ over and over again.

"Then what is this, ZEX?" A bit strained, and still confrontational. ZEX wasn't in the mood for this. "Is it because of..."

"Whatever you think it's because of, if you like. Not that it matters." ZEX's voice was low. "When I'm gone the truth will come out soon enough."

"And you're just going to leave? Just like that?" Another step towards him, and ZEX's tail lashed back and forth. "And you're going to leave me behind?"

"You don't want to come with me," ZEX said sharply. "You shouldn't."

"Why not? We made a _commitment_, ZEX." There was pain in her words. "I know it wasn't our idea, but we're still married. You can't just abandon me like this."

"It wasn't my decision." ZEX glared at the nameless VUX walking by outside with more force. Their fault, in some small way; propagating the prejudice that had forced him from his own home. Bigoted, shortsighted fools. "There's nothing I can do."

"It _is_ your decision, ZEX." Angry, her voice shaking. "It's always been your decision. If you'd just take responsibility, if you'd stop with this alien nonsense-"

ZEX turned, furious and writhing. "You don't understand- This isn't a passing fancy, this isn't something I do in my spare time because I need the amusement, this is..." Struggling for a moment for words, and he turned away from her again. "This is who I am."

"It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to go." He could hear anger, sadness and frustration in her voice. "If you'd fight, if you'd try to _change_-"

"I'm done with it. I'm done with everything, everyone here." ZEX gestured wildly at the VUX outside his window. "I'm done playing by rules that I have no respect for, for things I don't care about that don't apply to me. I'm done taking part in this elaborate facade, pretending to care. I'll be happy to leave this entire mess behind, selfish backstabbers that they all are. If they had the slightest shred of decency-"

"And me, what about me, ZEX? Are you leaving me behind as well?"

ZEX paused, body still in frantic motion.

"You can't come with me."

"I _won't_ come with you, is that what you're telling me? You _won't_ have me come with you?"

"It's better this way for you," ZEX said, his voice cold and bitter. "You can remarry someone more suited to your standing, less controversial. I'm a poor match for you."

A pause, then KEZ came closer to him, and he could feel the movement in the air as her head tentacles writhed, her tail lashing back and forth. "ZEX, I have _tried_ with you." Her voice still shaking with temper, breaking at points. "I have tried as hard as anyone could to make this work, because this is a _commitment_. When we stood in front of the altar that day, we made a promise to the Creator that we would finish the rest of our lives together. That we were bonded in the Creator's eye for the rest of our mortal lives. I know you may not believe in it, but _I_ _do_. I was willing to try and make this work, ZEX. I was willing to meet you halfway, or even further than that, because I respect this institution, and I had some respect for _you_." Glaring at him, daring him to turn and face her. "But if you run and leave me here..."

ZEX stared out the window and said nothing. She waited only a few moments before continuing, too incensed to wait for him to respond.

"Does none of it matter to you? Does none of this matter to you at all?" She waved an arm at the room around them. "Does this not _concern you_, ZEX?"

"I didn't ask to be married."

"Well neither did I, ZEX," KEZ snapped back at him. "But at least I didn't just _give up_ when it got difficult. I thought you were stronger than that."

He said nothing, although it was with effort. She sighed, trying to calm herself and she held an arm out to him to touch his shoulder. ZEX turned and took a few steps away from her. There was a pause, and a frustrated sigh. She followed him, and he kept his back to her.

"ZEX, would you just- at least look at me-" She tried to circle around him, and he kept his distance. KEZ made a frustrated sound, her head feelers twisting together and her voice sharpening again. "I've tried, I've done everything I could to make this work. You don't know _how hard_ I've tried with you. I took care of you when you were sick, I helped you with your work, I listened to your stories even when you wouldn't show me the same courtesy. I defended you to my friends even when most of them ostracized me for it, but I wouldn't turn my back on you because you're my_ family_ now. I _never_ abandoned you, even though it's cost me almost everything. I've tried to empathize with you, understand you, _love_ you. Tell me, what have _you_ done? Have you ever thought of anything other than what _you _want, what _you're_ interested in? When I reached out for you, did you ever reach back?"

ZEX didn't say anything, words already clearly coming to mind but he wasn't sure if he should say them. His self-restraint, already worn thin, did not hold out very long.

"I don't pretend to be something I'm not." His lashing tail was far more revealing than his calm tone.

KEZ made an inarticulate, angry sound before finally settling back into words. "You are without a doubt one of the most selfish, infuriating people I've ever met! I can't believe someone who did so much for our people, someone I thought was a hero, could ever be such a... such a XEF!" ZEX's head feelers did rise at that... he'd never gotten her to swear at him before. She was more upset than he'd originally thought. "I can't believe you can be so callous-"

"Call me what you like. I know what I am, and no amount of unfounded prejudice will change-"

"Ugh!" Interrupting him, and ZEX felt a flare of irritation at that. "Here you go again, with your 'martyr' act! Always going on about how you're a victim, about how society is oppressing you, about how _you_ are right and everyone else is wrong. Well let me tell you something, ZEX." She moved to stand in front of him, pointing at him with one arm. "You have to have a _cause_ to be a martyr, and you're no martyr. You're just using your 'interests' as an excuse to feed this... this persecution complex you've built up to defend yourself, so you don't have to admit that something's wrong with you, that what you're interested in is disgustingand_ wrong_, ZEX, they're little more than _animals-_"

"They're not animals-" Turning away from her, furious.

"They're _animals_, barely sentient, and it's unnatural, it's _not natural_, ZEX. And you have the audacity to tell _us_ that we're wrong, that _everyone else_ must be wrong because how could the brilliant and wonderful Admiral ZEX _ever_ be wrong? Your self-absorption and vanity is disgusting, even for someone of your considerable reputation."

ZEX was shaking now, head feelers snapping back and forth.

"You may be one of the greatest military minds that our society has ever produced, but there are _rules_, ZEX, and you do not get to flout them just because you think you're special. Not without someone doing something about it."

"Society's certainly vindicated you so far," ZEX said, darkly. "Tell me, is it as satisfying as you thought it would be?"

"I never thought the great Admiral ZEX was such a coward."

"You say that like this was my decision."

There was a moment, light fading through the room as the sun set, shadows cast across the two of them, and they said nothing, bodies still in furious motion.

KEZ made as if to say something further, then took a deep breath. It took her a few seconds before she spoke again. "ZEX, how can you be like this? How can you... enjoy being persecuted like this? Being alone?" Her voice was softening, albeit with effort... she was trying to empathize with him, reach out to him. ZEX kept his distance from her. "It can't be good for you, I know it isn't. I've seen how stressed you are, how you rage at night, I know this must be hard. It doesn't have to be this way. If you'd make the effort, if you'd try to be... if you'd at least _pretend_ to be normal, go back to therapy, try to _change_, you could..."

ZEX turned to look at her, spiteful. "I don't see why I should."

She took a step back, apparently unprepared for her appeal to be so sharply turned down, and just as quickly the fury she'd fought down returned. He really did have a talent for making her angry. The two stared at each other, each in a threatening posture, waiting for the other to back down.

"Do you really only care about yourself? Is that really all that matters to you? How can you abandon your family?" she said, accusatory and disbelieving. ZEX turned away from her.

"I _have_ no family-"

"You have _me_-"

ZEX's backspines began to rise. "I _have no family_-"

"Sir."

The two of them stopped and turned, feelers raised in surprise, and DAX walked from the doorway to step between the two of them.

"DAX, what are you..." ZEX blinked, surprised, and KEZ's head feelers lowered. She held one arm out to him while she pointed the other at ZEX.

"DAX, talk to him, try to get through to him, he won't _listen_ to me-"

ZEX looked back to her, head tentacles again beginning furious motion. DAX turned to ZEX before he had a chance to speak, his voice steady and unwavering.

"I suggest you stand outside and calm yourself while I talk to your wife, sir."

ZEX stared at him for a few moments, eye flicking between DAX and KEZ, then stalked out of the room, grumbling to himself with his tail lashing. He slammed the door behind him.

KEZ made an angry, frustrated sound, venting for a few seconds before turning sharply away from the door. DAX watched her carefully, and without ZEX to provoke her onwards, her anger faded quickly.

She held an arm to her eye, rubbing the corner of her eyelid. "I'm just... I'm so tired of this, DAX, I don't want... he makes me so angry sometimes, it's like I'm a different person around him, I just... I just don't know why he can't..."

DAX didn't say anything, instead holding an arm out to her. She looked at him, but couldn't quite bring herself to take it immediately. Some societal programming went too deep to be broken so easily.

He was still beneath them, after all.

"DAX, I don't understand, I've tried, I've tried _so hard_ at this... with him, I just... I can't _try_ anymore... after everything I've done... did you hear what he said to me? He doesn't even consider me his family... we're _married, _how can he say something like that?" Drained, near her emotional limit, and unfortunately, he wasn't unfamiliar with this. DAX turned, gestured to a nearby set of chairs and she finally took his arm. They sat down together, and she covered her head with her arms, shaking.

He hated how prophetic he could be at times.

"I don't understand... my parents told me this would be difficult, they said marriages would involve sacrifices and I was prepared for that, I knew it'd be hard... I heard those rumors about him, and... I didn't want to believe them, that someone could be like that, especially our hero." Shaking quietly, head tendrils still twisting together in an effort to comfort herself as they lay flat against her head, and DAX rested an arm on her shoulder. "I thought maybe they were jealous, they were lying... and when I found out they weren't, I thought maybe I could help him... fix him, make things better..."

"He can't be fixed, ma'am," DAX said quietly, and he felt her shiver at his words. "I've known him for a long time. He's always been this way."

"I tried everything, DAX, everything I could think of... anything to get him to notice me, to care about me, to change his ways and... and to treat me like his _wife_, like he's supposed to." She looked up at him, anguished, and DAX lowered his head feelers appropriately. "I did everything I was supposed to, I made my sacrifices and he didn't even notice or care or remotely try to do the same, like I, like _we _mean nothing to him and now he's been exiled to some far off planet somewhere, permanently disgraced and he won't even have me come with him..."

DAX watched her, tried to think of what to say. She stared at him, still distraught. "ZEX has always been... different. I knew this day would come, and I think he did as well."

"I don't understand... why doesn't he care? I'm his _family_ now, I'm his wife, and it's like... I'm just a stranger to him. We've been living together for a year, we've been sharing a bed, a life, and I mean _nothing_ to him. It's not natural, DAX, it's not natural for someone to treat their family that way. I don't understand. It's like there's some part of him that's... that's just _broken_." She shuddered, her head feelers curling tightly around her arms. "How can someone be this cruel? How can he treat me this way?"

"It was a poor match." DAX tried to sound sympathetic, and wasn't entirely sure he succeeded. He was never very skilled at this sort of thing. "It's not your fault."

"I don't know what to do." She let her arms fall to her lap, her head feelers hanging limp and despondent. She shut her eye. "I don't know what to do. About him, about us... is this it? Is it over? Is there nothing that can be done?" It was obvious from the tone in her voice that the idea didn't sit well with her. Being from her class, she was probably unaccustomed to problems she could not solve. She looked at DAX, reaching out one arm to twist with his own. "What's going to become of me if he leaves? What are people going to think... what am I going to do?"

Honestly, DAX didn't know. There was no way that the Admiral's "retirement" would not disgrace her by association, and through no fault of her own. ZEX may not have cared what the general VUX populace thought about him, a disinterest made easy by how little time he spent with them, but KEZ did. She'd been taught what to do and how to behave, how to fit into the careful machinery of the upperclass echelons of their society and she did it well and without effort, and through this marriage that she hadn't even wanted to someone she barely knew, she'd been dragged out of the one place that she belonged.

As he had suspected, this had not ended well.

"You should distance yourself from him, ma'am. Make it clear that you do not support his interests, or even him in general. It will be difficult, but you may be able to salvage some of your good name that way."

"Abandoning my husband, my family..." Natural repulsion at the very idea, although she was so drained by now her head feelers barely moved. "I don't want to be one of _those_ people, I never, I would never..." She tightened her grip on DAX's arm, and the other covered her head again, her body shuddering. "Left alone, for all that he cares, leaving me behind... I might as well be a widow!"

That was not something to be said lightly, and KEZ rarely engaged in hyperbole. She leaned on him now for support which DAX gave a bit awkwardly, not entirely comfortable being touched by anyone. "This is so unfair, DAX, I didn't want this. I didn't ask for this... I wanted a _family _like everyone, a family of my own. A husband who'd love me, beautiful children, that shouldn't be unreasonable and now everyone is going to revile me for something I didn't even do, something I tried to stop but no one will believe me... why is this happening to me?" She shivered again, making a strained sound. "Why is this happening to me? I've always tried to be a good person... I've prayed to the Creator, I've tried to be kind to those around me, I tried to learn to love ZEX like everyone told me I would, and... why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?"

DAX tried his best to comfort her, well out of his emotional depth. He had no answer for her, and so he said nothing. Hopefully the physical contact would be enough... in this sort of situation he really had no idea what to do. Nobody came to him for emotional support precisely because of his unfamiliarity with this sort of thing.

The two of them sat together, her squeezing his arm occasionally and making those soft, pained sounds, and the relative silence went on for some time. Eventually she seemed to calm somewhat, and he eased her away from him. Too much prolonged contact made him... uncomfortable.

"DAX, are you going with him?" As he stood to leave, and her arm twisted tightly with his. "You've been such a comfort to me, you've listened to me, advised me, helped me... when all my friends left me, you stayed. Ever since we were married, you've been there to help us."

"I've tried, ma'am," DAX said, head feelers twisting near his head as he looked back at her. She still stared at him in that terrible way, asking him wordlessly and the answer seemed so cruel.

"Are you leaving, DAX? Will you stay with him, after all of this? Everything he's said and done? What they say he plans to do there, by himself?"

DAX paused for a moment, which seemed to be answer enough as he felt her arm slowly slide from his own.

"Yes, ma'am," DAX said, softly. "I've always stood by him. I'll be accompanying him to Cerenkov, as he asked."

ZEX actually hadn't even had to ask, since DAX knew when he first heard of the "retirement" that he would follow ZEX, as he assumed he would for the duration of his life, but he decided not to mention that.

Her voice was thick with loss. "Is there anything I could say to make you stay?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am." And he was sincere. "I've done my best to keep both of you together and at peace... there's nothing more that can be done. I hope you'll take my advice, and cut ties with the Admiral. Begin your life anew... find the family that you've wanted."

"And you, DAX?" she asked him. "What are you looking for? What do _you_ want?"

DAX was quiet for a time, tail moving slowly along the floor.

"I've never given it much thought," he said, a bit huskily. He heard her stand behind him, and then he felt her arms wrap around him from behind, which only made him feel awkward.

"Oh DAX... you sacrificed so much for us... what do you have left?" Her tone distinctly pained, and she held him tightly. "What have we taken from you, for our own sake's?"

DAX stood there, not sure how to respond to any of this, feeling uncomfortable and strangely exposed in a way he didn't like.

"I follow my Admiral," he said finally, his voice somewhat thick. "That's all that matters..."

"To you, or to him?"

DAX didn't say anything, and she again hugged him like he was a child, and he didn't know what to say or how to respond.

"DAX... do you think about yourself at all?" Very softly.

DAX struggled for a moment, trying to find an answer. The one that escaped him wasn't the one he wanted to say, and it came out in an odd tone of voice that he didn't care for. "I'm not like you, or the Admiral." He touched one of his feelers with his tongue. "I'm not important."

"DAX, that's not true..." She squeezed him tighter. "You don't know how important you are to me."

He'd already said too much, and he was trying not to say anything else he might regret.

"Is this really your decision?" KEZ whispered, and DAX didn't respond, his head feelers lowering and twisting with one another. "Do you even feel that you have one?"

DAX said nothing, his tail curling around his legs.

They stood there for a time, and she kept holding him, and DAX wished more than anything for this moment to be over, because he was at a complete loss as to what he should do. He was no good in situations like this... he didn't like this feeling at all.

KEZ sighed, soft and sad. One of her head tendrils reached out for his, trying to comfort him. Some part of him vaguely warned him that it was inappropriate for someone of her standing to do something like that, to even be touching him at all, let alone like this, but it didn't matter.

"He doesn't appreciate you," KEZ said, with something like sorrow and pity. "Not like I do... he probably never will."

DAX wanted this to end, wanted to know how to react and what to say, and to make this feeling stop. He said something in hopes that it would hurry this to its conclusion, whatever that may be. "So you say."

He didn't really mean that, not as he usually did, but it was the only thing that came out. KEZ laughed a little, which only emphasized the somber mood at the moment, and she held him closer.

"Oh DAX..." Fondly, and sadly. "I'm going to miss you so much. I really wish you would reconsider."

"I can't stay." A bit strained, and he had his eye closed. A few moments passed before she spoke again.

"I know."

They stood like that together for some time, it felt like ages to him, but at least that feeling was slowly quieting with the silence. She eventually let him go, and he lowered his head feelers sympathetically, although he did not turn to look at her.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Lady KEZ." Softly. "I'm sure you will recover somehow... I wish you luck."

Her voice was a bit strained, trying hard to remain level. "And you too, DAX. Please... take care."

DAX walked out of the room, still feeling distinctly out of sorts. This wasn't what he should have been doing... he wasn't good at it, he didn't care for it, and he disliked how it made him feel. DAX sighed, found a mirror and straightened himself up a little. There was still ZEX to talk to, after all.

 

\---

 

He found ZEX in his study, staring at a hyperspace map with an intense focus that meant there was currently nothing else in the world to him. It was what he did when distressed or upset in some way... lost himself in tactics, the countless hundreds of battles he had waged and studied. It kept his mind sharp, but it also kept him distracted. ZEX needed distractions, otherwise he grew restless and began to try and indulge less appropriate interests. In that way, at least, the War had been a good thing.

DAX closed the door behind him, body language back to neutral. "You were cruel, sir. This isn't easy for her."

"Easy for her?" ZEX looked up at him, tendrils immediately caught up in a flurry of motion. "Easy for _her?_ She wasn't the one who dedicated her life, risked her flesh and blood, watched people die under her command, all to save a bunch of thoughtless, selfish, prejudiced bigots who threw her away once they'd gotten what they wanted from her-"

"I told you to calm yourself, sir."

ZEX stared at him again, still in motion, before he turned back to his map with a huff. "Under these circumstances, I'd think a little emotion is called for."

DAX moved to stand beside him near his desk. "There's no need to rant at _me_, sir, you've already done so several times. I've heard all you have to say, unless you've come up with a new insult I have yet to hear."

ZEX didn't say anything, body language indicating something of a sulk.

"Have you, sir?"

"No," ZEX said, a bit reluctantly. "Although if you give me time..."

"There's no call for you to be cruel to your wife, sir. She gains nothing from this situation you've put her in. You do not have to make it worse."

ZEX looked away from him, tail thumping against the floor. "Hmph, she can be so irritating. I don't know what she wants from me. _I _didn't want this."

"She wants you to be normal, sir." DAX moved behind him, and he carefully touched some of ZEX's head tendrils. They jerked and moved away from him at first, but he paid it no mind as he slowly began to work them apart from each other. "She wants a family."

"Well, she won't have one with me." DAX's attention was already defusing his mood somewhat... ZEX went from angry to quietly sullen. "I could have told her that."

"You didn't." DAX tugged one of his head tendrils, and ZEX twitched a bit in irritation at the sting.

"Hmph." ZEX's tail hit his leg. "It wouldn't have made a difference."

"Perhaps. You should be kind to her while you have the chance, sir," DAX said quietly, still working to calm his Admiral's nerves with consistent, soothing touches. "You'll be gone soon enough."

"Not soon enough for the High Council, I imagine." ZEX's voice was dark, and his head tendrils began to move again, forcing DAX to push a few of them down to try and remind him to keep his temper.

"You're a problem, sir." DAX kept working. "You and everyone else who does not share hatred of the humans. You knew this would happen."

"Well, that or I'd be killed. If I hadn't saved their lives during the War, I'd probably be dead right now. Huh! That's gratitude for you." Still dark and irritated. "After all, how important can our species' continued survival be compared to one VUX actually respecting humans? Their priorities are completely out of order, it's disgraceful that they've even done this to me, to _me_, after everything-"

"Calm yourself, sir." A bit sharply, and DAX stroked one head feeler with enough force to pin it to his head. It struggled briefly to rise again, but DAX wasn't about to let it go so easily. A clear enough message, and ZEX seemed to take the hint. His voice softened a bit, although his frustration was clear in his voice.

"I have no intention of repenting, or pretending to be something that I'm not. I've had quite enough of living my life to please others, or doing what I'm 'supposed' to. If they're so eager to cast me away, then it's their loss. If they're so afraid of difference that-"

"Sir."

"So childish-"

"Sir, calm."

"...And it's not as if I'll miss the ridiculous dramas here, anyway. They can play their social games without me, for all I care, content in their simple-minded worldview. It's their loss."

DAX laid one of ZEX's head tentacles flat, and it curled around the tip of his arm. He needed redirection. "They offered you a planet, didn't they?"

"An entire planet to use as I wish." ZEX sighed a bit. "As long as I never came back. It was a tempting offer."

DAX worked for a little while longer, watching the tension slowly leave ZEX's body. "You're going to start your menagerie, aren't you, sir?"

A deep, loving sigh, and that was answer enough. "Yes, my menagerie... it will be the perfect place for it. Undisturbed, unconcerned with what the general populace will think... I doubt there will be any children to 'scar' there, I'm sure."

DAX ran his arm from base to tip of one of ZEX's head tentacles, and ZEX sighed and leaned back. DAX kept his voice quiet.

"That's why you forbid her to come, didn't you?" He kept the soothing motion of his arms, hoping to keep ZEX in a more amiable mood. ZEX tensed a bit at the question, but he quickly smoothed it away.

"Yes, that was part of it..." ZEX said, sounding tired again. "Not something she would approve of, I'm sure. My plans would only horrify her... if her reaction to some of my pictures was any indication..."

"If news of your menagerie got out..." Still touching him lightly, a bit more lightly than was called for, and ZEX sighed again. "That ZEX and his wife kept a collection of monsters, with which they did unspeakable things..."

"And that too, I suppose." ZEX waved an arm, head leaning unconsciously towards DAX's arms. "Her reputation, if I haven't destroyed that already." He spoke carelessly; obviously this didn't concern him. That didn't surprise DAX. His Admiral was just as self-absorbed as everyone else... it was just in a different way.

"This damages her more than you, sir," DAX said. "You'll actually get something you want... freedom to pursue your interests outside careful scrutiny. She will simply be disgraced by being associated with you, forever cast out of higher society where she belongs."

ZEX's head feelers trembled a little, and lowered, draping over DAX's arms.

"Ah... I hadn't thought of that."

"I know, sir." DAX sighed, still touching although it was with less focus. "I expected you wouldn't."

"You know me too well." ZEX's head feelers lowered further, and his voice was tired and rough.

"And now you both are without a place where you belong," DAX said. "Through no real decision of your own."

"Hmmmm..." A tired sigh. "You're right... perhaps I should have been kinder to her."

"Consider it, sir." DAX didn't quite tug at the head feeler in his grip, but pulled enough to make it clear that it wasn't so much _consider it_ as it was _do it_. "You left her very upset."

ZEX was quiet for some time. "I didn't really intend to hurt her... this entire business has just been so unpleasant. I would have thought that after everything I've done that some freedom, some leeway wouldn't be unacceptable... that I'd be allowed to be myself, after all this time..."

"Life is not fair, sir." DAX didn't need to keep touching him since ZEX had calmed down considerably, but he stayed where he was and kept up his attentions. "It's no excuse to be cruel."

"You're right, DAX, I know. It's not _her_ fault." A bit tired and ashamed, his head feelers twisting. "I just... I'm just so tired of it all. Of pretending."

"I know, sir." He knew the Admiral... with his mood thus calmed, and with DAX's encouragement, he'd at least be amenable to trying to fix things with KEZ before they left, and hopefully she would accept his efforts. DAX wouldn't blame her if she didn't, but he at least wanted ZEX to try.

It was strange that he generally disliked social interaction, kept to himself most of the time, but he could read and predict ZEX's behavior relatively easily. Years of being beside him, no doubt. Experience that KEZ would now never get.

"Tell everyone she doesn't support your interests, that she didn't know. Perhaps present her as your failed savior, if you can stand such a thing." DAX tugged again a little, a clear message, and ZEX flinched just slightly. "If you behave appropriately, then perhaps she will find a way to salvage some of her life."

ZEX kept his eye closed and he sounded exhausted, his feelers moving unconsciously with each of DAX's calming strokes. "I'll see if I can speak to her tonight and arrange things more calmly."

DAX stayed quiet for a moment, touching experimentally in a way that went beyond trying to calm an angry friend, and ZEX shuddered a little and sighed in a vaguely pleased way.

DAX took a step back, arms back to his sides. "I'm sure she'll appreciate it, sir."

"Yes..." A bit distracted, and ZEX sat back up when he realized DAX had moved. "No need for more suffering, I suppose..."

He turned to face him, head tentacles now in even motion. "Thank you, DAX."

"Yes, sir." DAX gestured at him appropriately, and ZEX flicked his tongue and turned back to his map.

"I'm not sure what I'd do without you..." Casually.

DAX considered mentioning how KEZ had asked him to stay, but decided that it might be best left for another time. Both ZEX and KEZ had come to rely on him when they had begun living together, to help them both through emotional rough spots, and while it put a lot of pressure on him that he didn't exactly care for, he did it because it had to be done.

Somewhere, he was sorry it had to end this way. KEZ had come to need him, something he'd been hoping to avoid since he knew how this would end, and he didn't like how it made him feel towards her. Precisely why he avoided this kind of thing.

DAX left, ZEX bidding him goodnight on his way, and he made his way to the kitchen. KEZ, he was sure, could use something to eat, and he could tell her that ZEX was sorry and would apologize.

Back and forth between the two of them, their neutral messenger, and at times he felt more responsible than either of them. Caring for them like a parent of some kind.

Unlike most VUX, he'd never really wanted a family.

But while he had one, he had to try and keep it together as long as he could.


End file.
